Habits are crucial
A lot has been said about habits. We know they are important and that they shape who we are and where we will end in our lives. That is why, you would say, they are crucial. I have to build the best ones! Sure, go ahead. But first, stop and think: which habits will you pick? Which ones are the best ones for you? How to choose the habit that best suits you?
Aha! We have a problem here. You can pick any habit you can think of. But you most likely start to see where I am heading. Is eating a burger for lunch every day the best habit in the world? Most likely not. Well, there might be an occasion when we could ponder the usefulness of doing exactly this, but I doubt it will fit most.
Opinions of others
They say… ok, but who are THEY? That is another problem. People who are trying to convince you about something have always some hidden agenda or interest behind them. And if they say it is not like that, double beware. Take this or that pill and you will lose 15 kilos a week, without changing what you eat. Yes, these people I am talking about.
A lot of people do… again, who are those A LOT? Because a lot of people do that, doesn’t mean it is the best idea ever. Do you remember the Nazi Germany? A lot of people were following the state ideology. Was it a good idea? Ehm, we know that it was anything but that. Yet a lot of people did it. And for many years. So, most likely this is not the way to go either.
So what should I do???
It is plain and easy. Pick a habit that is good for YOU. For you and nobody else. It will be you who follows it, who does it every day, who tracks it, and who reaps its fruits. If you are training for a Marathon, you need to build a habit of running long distances reasonably fast. Is it a good idea for someone who is recovering from surgery? Definitely not. That is the difference.
What is great for the first, is detrimental for the second. And it is like that with everything. A habit has to be tailor-made for you. And you are the boss here, so you have to decide the plan of action. Maybe it won’t be a single habit. You will likely have to break it down into smaller steps and build the big habit out of a few smaller ones, but Rome was not built in a day either.
Start small
If you start small, you are likely to stick with the habit. If it is heading the right way, it may still be far from what you want to do, but you have to start somehow. If it is reasonably challenging, it motivates you, but it is not overwhelming. Talking about the Marathon? If you never run, how about starting with a single mile? At first, you might have to stop in the middle. But after a few days or weeks, you are likely to do it easily.
And you can build on this. How about two miles? 5,8,10? Who knows? It is you who will decide what to do. Have you injured yourself and you need to rest for a while? Ok, you can modify the habit and maybe work on flexibility or strengthening your arms or ankles. This always comes in handy.
Be flexible
There is no need to stick to your habits no matter what if your circumstances have changed. Be flexible and work with what you have. Just don’t sit there and cry and complain. You can do that. But once you do it, plan a new action plan. What will you do now with what you have? Nothing is completely lost if you haven’t decided that it is like that. There is always something you can do.
If they throw you out by the door, crawl back by the window 😀 If the goal is important enough for you, you will find a way of achieving it. I know, that sometimes it seems that the whole universe is conspiring against us, but the victory belongs to the persistent ones. I am not saying going over the dead bodies, there are times when giving up is the only option, but giving up easily is not a good way to go either.
Be critical of what you see
If you still don’t know what habit to pick, I would say that looking up Instagram or TikTok is not a good idea. Yes, there might be some interesting inspiration, but if you want to take up a habit that is extremely popular right now, make sure it serves your purposes and your goals. Some of them are plain stupid. (Do you remember that Tide pod challenge?)
Have a strategy
What works for me is to sit down and assess the situation. Where I am and where I am going. There will be some differences. So how will I bridge the difference? What I must do or learn to be able to get where I want to be? This is a good way of making reasonable decisions. Maybe they are too big for now. So don’t be afraid to break them into smaller steps. Eventually, you will get there. No need to overwhelm yourself now and give up.
I have read somewhere that it is you are the driver of your car, that you shouldn’t sit in the passenger seat and let others give you a ride. There is much truth in this. What if they are taking you to someplace you don’t want to go? Ot they are going faster than you like? What if they drive carelessly and might hurt you in an accident? This is not a good place to be.
You decide
It is you and only you who decides what will be with your life, where you are going, and what the next step will be. Sometimes you need a little rest before you are comfortable to proceed. Why not? Unless your car is not going in the wrong way, all is great. If it is happening on your terms and you are comfortable with it, perfect.
Sometimes you need to go faster, all is clear and easy, but sometimes you need to hit the breaks, when things are completely out of hand, you feel it is all too much and keep going is scaring you to death. Yes, sometimes you have to jump down the cliff. But sometimes it is better to sit and wait for a while. Who will decide all this? Only you. Because it is only you who knows what to do and when. You decide.
Don’t let anyone else do that for you 🙂
